


at any given moment

by dollyeo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ficmix, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27332977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/pseuds/dollyeo
Summary: “Maybe I should have joined the auction too,” he says. “I could have had a love life by now too.”Wonwoo's smile smoothens out into a frown, eyebrow raised. “You think an auction would have gotten you one?”“It worked for Jihoon, didn't it?”*Or: Wonwoo feeds stray cats, and Soonyoung feeds on scraps of time.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 16
Kudos: 234
Collections: SAGC Ficmix 2020 🥰





	at any given moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [historiologies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/historiologies/gifts).
  * Inspired by [french food and voluntary servitude](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8338984) by [historiologies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/historiologies/pseuds/historiologies). 



> [for your listening pleasure](https://open.spotify.com/track/0ZXdzaT1k688dkpNeEgQiV).
> 
> to cat--
> 
> I'm so sorry this is far from what you were probably expecting (and def underdelivering lmao), but enjoy!!! I don't trust myself to have time by the deadline, but anyway (kyuhyun voice) the charm of this challenge is its anonymity. happy early birthday!!!

Wen Junhui has a boyfriend.

It's all over Soonyoung's SNS feed a few weeks after the auction, Junhui's status update of _in a relationship_ and spam of pictures tagging his new boyfriend cluttering up Soonyoung’s timeline. At first Soonyoung thinks nothing of it, a tiny portion of his brain filing it under “small talk topics” for when he next sees Minghao's friend from St. Mark's. It's not until he actually sees who it is that Junhui's gushing about that his brain finally fizzles to a stop, a tiny, insignificant click right before the universe is upended. Like, that time he’d accidentally pulled up a tab of porn right in the middle of showing his slides for a paired project, or when he’d spoiled the ending of Naruto for himself on a forum before he’d even figured out how the spoiler tags worked. That small, sliver of clarity before he’d thought: shit. Shit shit shit shit _shit_.

Wen Junhui has a boyfriend, and it's Lee Jihoon.

Oh, Soonyoung thinks, mouth agape. _Oh_.

*

>   
>  _**> >**jihoon  
>  JIHOON_
> 
> **> >** _what? I’m busy_
> 
> _**> >**doing what.  
>  your new boyfriend???_
> 
> **> >** _oh my god fuck off_
> 
> _**> >**I tell you all about my non-existent love life and yet you’re holding out on me???  
>  lee jihoon???_
> 
> **> >** _if you don’t shut up I’ll tell wonwoo you mumble his name in your sleep_
> 
> _**> >**I DO NOT_
> 
> **> >** _yeah, but he doesn’t know that, right?_
> 
> _**> >**you are THE WORST  
>  i hope your date sucks_
> 
> **> >** _just go on a date with wonwoo if you’re so jealous_

*

“I don't understand,” Soonyoung bemoans, slumped against the foot of the stairs. “How did _Jihoon_ get a love life before we did? He's _terrible_ at dates.”

“Maybe Junhui thought he was cute,” says Wonwoo, still crouched low a few feet away, pouring dry food into separate bowls and plates from Daiso. A few of the stray cats around their dorm circle at his feet, meowing and rubbing their scent all over him as if to claim their territory. Wonwoo, with great patience and self-control, keeps sorting out their meals before he indulges in petting them. “Maybe Junhui likes awkward people.”

“Maybe Junhui has terrible taste,” Soonyoung concludes. He’s petting a sated kitten on his lap, scratching under her neck. It’s the one that likes him best out of their strays, even if Wonwoo’s always insisted it’s a pity thing. “Jihoon's not even _nice_.”

“Jihoon can be nice,” says Wonwoo. He finally finishes the last of the portions, and reaches out to stroke the back of a striped kitten's ears as it licks its saucer clean. “He just gets easily annoyed.”

“Easy for you to say,” says Soonyoung. “He targets me before you.”

“It's because you're shorter,” says Wonwoo. He comes to a stand, stretching out his long legs, and Soonyoung's eyes flicker down to stare at the line of his calves with envy before tilting his head up to look at Wonwoo. “You've always been shorter than me.”

“Nuh uh,” says Soonyoung. “We were practically the same height in middle school!”

“I had three centimeters over you.”

“ _Three_!”

Wonwoo laughs, nose and eyes crinkling behind his glasses, and Soonyoung has to squint to look at him, the sun already too bright, blinding. Wonwoo's body casts a shadow that swallows up Soonyoung's, not enough shade in the open space of their dorm's backyard to shield them both. They keep forgetting to bring an umbrella with them every time Wonwoo goes out to feed the strays, and it's too much of a hassle to run back inside and climb up to their floor to get one.

Maybe if Soonyoung had a girlfriend or boyfriend, they'd be ready with an umbrella in their bag all the time. Maybe they could be holding hands and going on airconditioned dates instead of drying up under the heat of the sun. He kicks his heels into the ground, dusting up the soles of his flip-flops, before letting out an aggrieved sigh.

“Maybe I should have joined the auction too,” he says. “I could have had a love life by now too.”

Wonwoo's smile smoothens out into a frown, eyebrow raised. “You think an auction would have gotten you one?”

“It worked for Jihoon, didn't it?”

Wonwoo shrugs, then turns his back to pick up the pack of dry food to take back inside. “I wouldn’t know,” he says. “I’ve never had to try.”

His vote of confidence, as always, is outstanding. Soonyoung almost hopes he trips on one of the cats on his way back, but that would be too mean-- the cats have done nothing terrible to bear the brunt of karma.

*

News gets around the rumor mill fast. By the third day, everyone and their mother has been giving Jihoon expectant, sly grins, the more daring ones conspiratorial as they congratulate him on his newfound adulthood.

Jihoon, bewildered, barely gets a word in. Doesn’t even want to entertain _any_ of the inquiries, even, and that just lets the rumors fly faster, turn wilder.

It doesn’t help it’s Soonyoung that’s the source of half of them. 

“Wonwoo says he didn’t come back to their dorm room last night,” he gossips with Seungkwan and Seokmin over at breakfast.

“I heard from Wonwoo that Jihoon was playing sappy love songs all day,” he tells Minghao as they’re walking to their clubroom.

“Wonwoo thinks he saw a hickey on Jihoon’s neck when he was changing, but you didn’t hear it from me,” he lets Jeonghan and Seungcheol know, just before the post-mortem meeting for the auction begins.

“Wonwoo is going to kill Soonyoung if he doesn’t stop telling people about _secrets_ ,” Wonwoo tells him the next day, looking far from happy.

“Has Jihoonie threatened to kick you out yet? I thought love was supposed to make you a nicer person.”

“ _Soonyoung_.”

“Sheesh, fine. I’ll shut up about it already. “

Wonwoo looks at him, really, _really_ looks at him, and then sighs. “No, you won’t,” he says, with the air of someone who’s given up.

“No, I won’t,” Soonyoung says, grinning. “But you can always stay at my room if he ends up kicking you out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” says Wonwoo. “You only have one bed.”

“So? We can share. We used to share all the time when we had sleepovers.”

“You kick in your sleep.”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t.”

“You only think that because you’re asleep,” Wonwoo grumbles.

“Well, maybe if you don’t keep clinging to me like a _python_ \--”

Wonwoo makes a face and pinches his side, before playfully biting down on his shoulder. Soonyoung winces, then bats Wonwoo’s fingers and face away.

“Okay, okay, I’ll march over to your room and apologize to Jihoon. You don’t have to worry about getting banished from your space because of me.”

*

“Okay, so maybe you _do_ have to stay the night,” Soonyoung informs Wonwoo not even fifteen minutes later, returning pale as a sheet.

“What happened?” Wonwoo asks, glaring at him.

“He snuck his boyfriend into your dorm room,” says Soonyoung. “I didn’t know a sock on the door meant I’d have to see Jihoon with his boyfriend doing _stuff_. _God_.”

“Please tell me they’re not making out on my bed,” says Wonwoo, closing his eyes.

“Worse,” says Soonyoung. “They’re watching Precure on Jihoon’s laptop and holding hands under a blanket.” He pauses. “That, or giving each other handjobs.” Soonyoung’s honestly not sure. Sometimes the faces Jihoon makes when watching emotional scenes in magical school girl shows looks like a cross between constipation and wide-eyed wonder. It could have been an orgasm face. Maybe.

“ _Ugh_.” Wonwoo slams his forehead down on Soonyoung’s pillow, as if trying to suffocate himself with it. “Why did we sign him up for that auction again?”

“It was your idea, not mine,” says Soonyoung.

Wonwoo stares at him.

“Okay, fine, maybe I’ve had better ideas,” says Soonyoung. “But _you_ thought it was funny too!”

“I did,” Wonwoo concedes, “but that was before I knew I’d end up getting exiled from my room right before exams.”

“It’s for a good cause,” says Soonyoung, solemnly.

*

He’s not admitting the only reason he’d even thought of forced-volunteering Jihoon was because Jeonghan had toyed with the idea of signing _Wonwoo_ up for the auction, and that was Not Okay, not if it meant that Wonwoo going out on a date would mean one less mealtime for the cats. If it had been Wonwoo out for dinner at some fancy restaurant Soonyoung would have been hard-pressed to afford, that would suck for the cats, big time. He’s just being a good, supportive friend, and a fervent advocate of caring for helpless animals, that’s all.

And anyway, who’d even bid for Wonwoo, right?

 _lots of girls_ , Minghao replies, not even five seconds after Soonyoung poses the question in their smaller group chat. _guys too, I bet_.

 _who’s the one who just spent half of his monthly allowance on an impulse bid again?_ Soonyoung asks.

Minghao doesn’t reply. Soonyoung, satisfied, turns back to watching Wonwoo play games he’d installed on _Soonyoung’s_ laptop, and feels his fingers twitch and curl into a fist in case he does something stupid, like sabotage his game by nudging his hand. Or _something_.

*

Wonwoo ends up staying the night at Soonyoung’s room, playing long into the night even after Soonyoung crawls under the covers and tries to fall asleep to the sound of explosions and Wonwoo cursing under his breath. Soonyoung’s not a restless sleeper, not like Wonwoo claims he is, but when Wonwoo finally goes to bed, he settles into a calm, zen-like state, quickly falling into a deep, dreamless sleep; he buries his head into the crook of Wonwoo’s neck and uses Wonwoo as a bolster, the contact comforting even with the stiffening of Wonwoo’s back muscles.

When Soonyoung wakes up, Wonwoo looks sleep-deprived and worse for wear, like he hadn’t slept a wink. It’s weird. Wonwoo’s never been that light of a sleeper back then, but maybe this, too, has changed. Maybe he’s adjusted completely. Or maybe he’s just played too many damn rounds.

“You kick in your sleep,” Wonwoo insists.

Nonsense, Soonyoung thinks. He’d been clutching Wonwoo’s back like a pillow the whole night. It’d be impossible to kick him.

“Maybe next time I should just lay on top of you,” Soonyoung suggests.

Wonwoo makes a strangled noise, like he’s dying. Soonyoung laughs. It’s always funny to have the upper hand over Wonwoo, especially when it comes so rarely.

“That’s not funny,” says Wonwoo, glaring at him.

“I think I’m pretty hilarious,” says Soonyoung, loftily.

“Yeah, well, laugh it up. There won’t be a next time.”

“You say that like you’re sure Junhui won’t be making any surprise appearances to visit Jihoon.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

*

> **> >** _having fun?_
> 
> **> >** _did you know wonwoo’s an insanely light sleeper_
> 
> **> >** _lmao what, he sleeps like the dead_
> 
> **> >** _idk everytime I wake up he’s already awake and grumpy_
> 
> **> >** _you sure he’s not just frustrated_
> 
> **> >** _oh my god  
>  what if I actually talk in my sleep???_
> 
> **> >** _you’ve probably confessed your undying love without knowing_
> 
> **> >** _you think you’re so funny don’t you_
> 
> **> >** _junhui thinks I’m hilarious_
> 
> **> >** _I hate you both and regret ever giving you two a chance to date_
> 
> **> >** _*you and wonwoo_

*

It gets old after a week, when Wonwoo’s things migrate into Soonyoung’s room bit by bit. Worse still, when Wonwoo ends up using his toothbrush accidentally one night, and Soonyoung doesn’t have a spare on hand so he has to live with their bacteria intermingling. God. And now he can’t even jerk off in the bathroom because the walls are too thin. This sucks.

“Do you think Junhui uses Jihoon’s toothbrush when he stays over?” Soonyoung muses as he tries very hard to will his morning hard-on away before Wonwoo notices. “Or does he just put toothpaste on his index finger and uses that to brush?”

“I’m trying to memorize my taxonomy notes, not dissect their oral habits,” says Wonwoo, scowling at him from his perch on Soonyoung’s swivel chair. “Who cares?”

“ _I_ care,” says Soonyoung. “They’ve only been together for how long, while we’ve known each other for _years_ and I still can’t get over the fact that you _used my toothbrush instead of yours_.”

“Well, I don’t care about it,” says Wonwoo. “It’s just a toothbrush.”

“It’s not _just_ a toothbrush. It’s like an indirect kiss if you think about it,” says Soonyoung, scrunching his face up. “With tongue. Lots and lots of tongue.”

Wonwoo lets out a strangled noise yet again, but it sounds more mournful now. He’s been doing that a lot. His poor throat.

“I never want to hear those words from your mouth ever again,” Wonwoo despairs.

“Tonsil hockey,” Soonyoung says, seriously. “Tongue wrestling. Swapping spi--”

Wonwoo throws a pillow at him, ears burning, and vacates the room to find peace elsewhere. Perfect. Now Soonyoung has a few minutes to himself and his laptop.

If only he remembers where, exactly, he’d hidden his porn. _If_ he hadn’t deleted it.

*

“Can you please stop torturing my roommate.”

“Excuse you, _he_ tortures me,” says Soonyoung. “And hello to you too. Done making out with your boyfriend for the day?”

“We were studying, not making out,” says Jihoon.

“With you climbing him like a tree?”

“There was a bug on the floor.” He pauses. “Did he spend the past week at your room?”

“Yeah. Because he got sexiled, remember?”

“What are you talking about?” Jihoon asks. “Junhui hasn’t been to the dorm since _you_ caught us.”

“Then why’d Wonwoo stay over _my_ room, then?”

Turns out, Jihoon doesn’t have any answers to that too, but he _does_ end up giving Soonyoung far too many smug smirks over the course of the next few days. His friends are assholes.

*

Just for that, Soonyoung makes it a point to publicly shame Jihoon for being undeserving of his good fortune. Sometimes, you just have to take someone down a peg or two, especially if they _think_ they know something _you_ don’t and are secretly laughing about it behind your back. Traitor.

“I don’t get the appeal. Why the fuck is someone that hot even sucking face with Jihoon,” Soonyoung continues to complain, when they’re all at the cafeteria the next day at lunch.

“I'm right here,” says Jihoon, irritably. “And no one's sucking face with anyone?”

“How are you dating that guy and _not_ fucking all the time,” Soonyoung asks, incredulously. “Have you done it yet? _Have you_?”

Jihoon swats him with a notebook, the kind with the metal spirals at binding the pages together, and he makes sure to clock Soonyoung on the nose with that side. “Not everyone in a relationship is having sex all the time, _pervert_.”

“How would you even know,” says Soonyoung, surly. “You probably don't put out.”

“I'm not taking advice from someone who's a _virgin_ ,” says Jihoon, disparaging, like he isn't one himself. Oh, wait--

“So you _have_ done it,” Soonyoung crows.

Jihoon turns to Wonwoo, annoyed. “Can you please stop letting him watch too much porn?”

“I don't watch porn with him,” says Wonwoo, calmly. “We have different tastes in hentai.”

That's a lie-- the first illicit CD Soonyoung had gotten his hands on was from Wonwoo back in middle school. Wonwoo, who was Jihoon's roommate then, and who had a _laptop_ when everyone else hadn't. The only reason they'd been friends to begin with was because of that, really. Everything else came later. Soonyoung's tastes in porn only developed with Wonwoo's influence, so _ha_.

“Can we please talk about something else now,” Minghao pipes up from the other end of the table, where he’s supposed to be working on copying Seokmin’s homework instead of eavesdropping. “This is my _friend_ you're talking about.”

“Okay,” says Soonyoung. “How was _your_ date with Mingyu?”

“I bid on him as a _friend_ ,” Minghao insists.

“As a friend,” Soonyoung repeats. “For how much again?”

“Wonwoo-hyung would do the same for you,” says Minghao.

“No, he won't,” says Soonyoung. “Wonwoo would rather spend his money on games and books.”

“I dunno,” says Wonwoo. “Ordering you around for a whole day sounds fun.”

“Ugh, save the kinks for when we’re not within earshot,” Seungcheol complains, before plugging in his earphones.

“Well, if _you_ join, I'm bidding on you so I can get my revenge,” says Soonyoung.

“It's a date,” says Wonwoo, lips quirked up into a smile.

Soonyoung ignores the way Minghao mouths _next time_ and raises his eyebrows at him. Minghao has no right to read too deeply into anything-- he’s the one who burned his money just to hang out with Mingyu, as if they didn’t already do that in their free time.

“Good thing I’m broke, then,” says Soonyoung.

“What if I lend you money?” Wonwoo asks. Then, as an afterthought, he adds, “you know, to bail me out and stuff.”

“Fuck off,” says Soonyoung. “You’re broke from buying cat food too.”

“Is cat food a euphemism for something?” Seokmin wonders aloud.

“Or something,” says Jihoon. “You really should stop feeding strays. When we graduate, no one’s gonna be around anymore if they keep coming back.”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something,” says Soonyoung.

“If I fail biology because of you two, we won’t have to worry about that for a few more years,” says Wonwoo.

“Don’t fail biology,” says Soonyoung. “Your mom will cry.”

“I’m sure Soonyoung can help you study,” says Jihoon, smugly.

 _Like Junhui’s helping you_? Soonyoung wants to retort, but he catches himself in time. No thoughts, head empty.

It’s only self-preservation, like one of the more cautious strays hanging back before creeping up to Wonwoo’s outstretched hand at mealtimes. It doesn’t mean shit.

*

Soonyoung’s been friends with Wonwoo and Jihoon since they were in ninth grade.

Their college has an escalator system from primary school upwards, but Soonyoung hadn’t transferred in until middle school. Jihoon was his first friend, and then Wonwoo by virtue of being Jihoon’s roommate. They’d had the dubious fortune of being paired together for PE after being forced into a line by height, and had to learn how to say goodbye to embarrassment fairly quickly to help each other stretch, awkward small talk filling in the silence as their bodies connected more than their words.

They hadn’t bonded instantly, no, but it was easier to call someone your friend when you were a kid that didn’t have a multitude of complicated standards other than, _this person might be cool_ and _is he or is he not a dickhead_?

Sadly, he’d be proven wrong on those two fronts, but by the time he’d come to realize that, it was like they’d been stuck for life, pulled together by the ties of time more than intimacy. Circumstance and collective history glued them together, more differences than common interests as they grew older, but in Soonyoung’s head, it had always been Soonyoung-and-Jihoon-and-Wonwoo.

Now, it’s becoming Soonyoung-and-Wonwoo more and more, and sometimes it’s fine, it’s okay. Sometimes, though, there’s something unreadable in Wonwoo’s face that passes when they’re alone, like he’s too conscious of how it’s just them. Like he doesn’t know when to trade barbed words for gentleness, or how to read the mood.

Some days, Wonwoo reminds Soonyoung of a cat, prickly at turns and affectionate at the drop of a hat. Now, he's a bit on the peevish side, and Soonyoung has to remind himself that maybe Wonwoo's just having an off day just to keep himself from blowing up.

They used to have bad fights when they were younger, back when Soonyoung was less patient and more wound up, and Wonwoo less charitable and more awkward. On good days, they're really good; on bad days, it's like a train wreck waiting to happen.

So the cats are safe, neutral. That space, they’ve always had that without Jihoon. Just Soonyoung and a bunch of cats, Wonwoo included.

Soonyoung used to tell Wonwoo he was afraid he was enabling his road down to becoming a full-fledged, crazy cat person. Now, maybe he should have warned himself about it. His wallet’s all the more poorer for it.

*

Soonyoung forgets about his fantasies of tyrannically making Wonwoo submit to him for a while. It's not hard to. There's homework, then exams, and there's club and his part-time job to think about. The only thing that's changed is that he sees Jihoon less, and Junhui a bit more whenever he drops by to pick Jihoon up for a date and waves hello at Soonyoung before Jihoon can steer him away from Soonyoung's catcalling.

He complains about it to Wonwoo sometimes when they're alone, though. On one hand, he likes that he can embarrass Jihoon in front of his boyfriend lots of times. On the other hand, it feels a bit weird, knowing that Jihoon has to split his time with his friends and his boyfriend, and it doesn't always mean that years of friendship would supersede weeks of a romantic relationship when it comes to prioritizing.

“It's like our single mom has finally started dating, and now she's focusing on her future husband instead of her kids,” says Soonyoung. “It _sucks_.”

“You think of Jihoon as your mom?” Wonwoo asks, scrunching up his nose.

“It's a figure of speech,” says Soonyoung, patiently, like he would talk to a child. “And I think of Jihoon as a gremlin. There’s a huge difference.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I know.”

“Don't you feel the same way though?”

“Jihoon's old enough to date,” says Wonwoo. “It's normal.”

“As if _you've_ been on a date.”

“Actually,” says Wonwoo, looking uncomfortable, “I _have_.”

“What?” Soonyoung blinks, more confused than indignant at being the last to find these things out. “When? With who? _How_?”

“What do you mean how?” Wonwoo asks. “It's just dating, not rocket science.”

Soonyoung doesn't point out that a) Wonwoo hasn't even answered half of the things he's just asked, and b) he wouldn't know, _he's_ never been on a date unlike his asshole friends that apparently hide things from him.

“I wanna go on dates too,” Soonyoung whines. “When's _my_ first love going to come sweep me off my feet?”

Wonwoo looks at him strangely, like he’s just said something funny. “Maybe you're just not looking hard enough.”

Whatever. Wonwoo doesn't understand, not when he's apparently _dated_ someone even before Jihoon.

“Do you think it's normal for people who are dating to forget about their friends?” Soonyoung muses.

“Not really,” says Wonwoo. “I always had time for Jihoon back then.”

The conspicuous absence of Soonyoung’s name stings a bit, but he bites down the urge to latch onto it like a single-minded hound dog just to keep from showing that he’s as affected as he is. “Well, maybe you weren't serious about it.”

“What makes you think I wasn't serious?”

“You're not dating anyone now, are you?” Wonwoo shrugs. “If you were, we probably wouldn't be hanging out right now.”

“I'm here to feed the cats, hanging out with you is just a bonus,” says Wonwoo, chuckling. Soonyoung tries to stamp down the fluttery feelings in his stomach, but mostly he fails.

“ _You_ bullied _me_ into dragging the cat food out. I can call it whatever I wanna call it.”

“Hmm,” Wonwoo makes a soft sound at the back of his throat. “Maybe you can call this a date too.”

Soonyoung can't help the laugh that escapes him. “You're _terrible_ at pickup lines. I don't know how you even got dates. They're all fooled by your face.”

“Does that mean you think I'm handsome?”

“Fuck off,” says Soonyoung. “Stop fishing for compliments.”

Wonwoo laughs, louder this time, and Soonyoung's chest feels light at that; he's not wrong, though. Wonwoo's always been more handsome than the rest of them, even back in middle school. He didn't have to fuss over his hair or skin problems back then, didn't suffer from awkward braces or a crippling need to wipe his face down every time he stayed too long under the sun. There's a reason Wonwoo was Jihoon's friend first, before Soonyoung's, and it’s that 1% of self-consciousness that Soonyoung can’t quite keep at bay whenever he and Wonwoo are together.

That same 1% that separates the boundary between what’s acceptable and what isn’t, if they were friends. It’s taking all of Soonyoung’s willpower to be an even better friend to Wonwoo than he feels like he actually is.

*

They get ice cream after feeding the cats; it’s nothing fancy, just a quick trip to the nearest convenience store, really. Soonyoung’s the first to choose from the freezer and cart his spoils to the cashier, but Wonwoo’s ready to pay before Soonyoung can get his wallet out, nudging Soonyoung away from the register under the pretext of opening the wrapper before it melts, as if they hadn’t unearthed the ones at the very bottom to make sure they were frozen.

Is this how Wonwoo is on a date, Soonyoung has to wonder, but he stomps down that thought, squashes it viciously as Wonwoo unpeels the wrapper off of his Melona and starts to suck on the tip, carefully nibbling at the edges. If this were a date, maybe Soonyoung would be wiping the smudge of ice cream off of Wonwoo’s lower lip, or maybe he’d reach out to hold his unoccupied hand while they walk back instead of stuffing his freezing fingers into the pocket of his jacket.

Since Soonyoung hasn’t been on a date in his life, maybe that’s the problem. He’s already inflating this in his head more than he should be.

The thought of it makes his stomach feel unsettled. He might be developing lactose intolerance now. Maybe. Suddenly, he misses having Jihoon around. They wouldn’t be as awkward as this if it were the three of them together, just hanging out like normal friends, not thinking of wanting dangerous things that friends just don’t do. The line, he’s so close to teetering over the edge. So, so close, it’s scary.

“You know, it's funny,” he says, to break the silence. “I used to think we'd be fine without Jihoon around since he was always off doing his own thing, but now I kinda miss him.”

“Yeah, well, that's normal,” says Wonwoo. “He's our friend.”

“I wish he didn't start dating yet,” says Soonyoung, wistfully.

“You're only saying that because _you_ haven't.”

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to rub it in, Mr. Popular,” says Soonyoung, already glum. “If you start dating seriously and abandon me and the cats, I'll never forgive you.”

“You sound like a dad who doesn't want his kids to date early,” Wonwoo points out.

“Gross, I don't wanna be your dad.”

“I don't want you to be _my_ parent either,” says Wonwoo, but he sounds funny when he says it. Strained. Maybe he really hates the thought of it too.

“Jihoon's parents hover around him enough. He's more like an annoying younger sister to me.”

“Oh?” Wonwoo reaches out a hand to let one of the new strays sniff at his fingers. “What am I, then?”

“You?” Soonyoung squints. “You're like a brother. An equally annoying one too.”

Wonwoo's fingers clench into a fist, and the cat darts away, spooked.

“That's funny,” says Wonwoo. He sounds strange, distant. “I've never thought of you as a brother.”

“Oh,” says Soonyoung, awkwardly. He watches Wonwoo's hand fall to his side, loose and limp. He doesn't know what to say. “I guess that's fine too, being friends.” He clears his throat, then pulls out his phone to thumb through his apps. “Hey, I downloaded this dating app last night-- wanna help me set up a profile?”

Wonwoo looks at his phone screen, then looks away. “Isn't online dating for losers?”

“Says the person who makes more friends online than at school,” Soonyoung splutters. “You know what? It's fine. I'll ask someone else to do it for me instead.”

“Good luck meeting someone who isn't a crazy axe-murderer,” says Wonwoo.

“I know taekwondo,” Soonyoung brags, puffing his chest out. “I can take _anyone_.”

“Maybe you can put it in your profile,” says Wonwoo. “It'd be cute.”

“It's supposed to be _cool_ , not cute.”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at him. “With a face like that? I doubt they'd think you were anything but cute.”

*

“ _And then_ , he said I wasn't cool, can you believe that?” Soonyoung finishes as he complains about Wonwoo to Minghao this time.

“But he called you cute?” Minghao asks, skeptically.

“ _After_ he implied I’d meet someone psycho before I’d get a date.”

“But,” Minghao repeats, a hint of desperation in his tone already as he looks at the exit with longing, “he called you _cute_.”

“He probably thinks cute means ugly but tolerable,” says Soonyoung. “I hate people who are too good-looking for their own good.”

“What's wrong with good-looking people?”

“It's annoying!” Soonyoung points out. “It's like god gave them too many good points and left the rest of us with leftovers.”

“I refuse to be lumped into the same category as you.”

“You're right,” says Soonyoung. “Maybe I should talk to Chan or Seungkwan.”

The two of them flip him a finger from the other table, heads bent together in a group project. Apparently not too busy to be deaf to Soonyoung's snide remarks, though.

“This is a _library_ ,” Seungkwan hisses. “Please, please, _please_ shut up before we get kicked out.”

“I can't help it. I'm too busy processing the disastrous attempts at subtlety,” says Minghao.

“He _insulted_ me, what part of that was subtle?”

“That, and apparently selective obliviousness,” Minghao amends. Then, to Soonyoung, he asks, “Do you think that maybe you're both taking away the wrong things out of your conversations at the same time?”

“Are you taking his side?” Soonyoung asks, aghast.

“I'm just saying, maybe this is all just a big misunderstanding.”

Soonyoung raises his forefinger. “He said he didn't think of me as a brother.” The middle one. “He called me a dateless loser--”

“He did _not_.”

The ring finger. “He doesn't think I'm cool. What part of that did I not get?” Then, after a pause, he adds churlishly. “He still hasn’t replaced that toothbrush he used when he was staying over.”

“You know what _I_ think?” Chan grumbles. “ _I_ think maybe you and Wonwoo-hyung just need to get over your weird unresolved tension and just ba--”

“ _Bag_ up your issues in a productive manner,” Minghao interrupts, slapping his palm over Chan's mouth with a warning glare.

“It's fine,” says Soonyoung. “I'll get over it. I'm used to Wonwoo being annoying.”

“That doesn't sound like a healthy way to deal with things, hyung,” says Seungkwan.

Soonyoung levels him with a scowl. “Who's gonna fail Psych again if he doesn't mind his own business and get back to work?”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes.

“I'm just saying, maybe you should actually talk to Wonwoo-hyung about how the things he says sometimes hurts your feelings,” says Seungkwan.

“And then actually _talk_ about your feelings,” says Chan. “For each other. _God_.”

“I'd rather eat glass,” says Soonyoung.

“Me too,” says Minghao, unhappily. “You have no idea how I feel that right now so much.”

*

“What if we catfish someone with Wonwoo’s face,” is Jeonghan’s none-too-helpful suggestion. “You could get revenge _and_ a date, easy.”

“Isn’t that illegal?” Jisoo pipes up from his spot by the filing cabinets, where he’s trying to look for the last budget file Jeonghan had “accidentally” misplaced. Honestly, Soonyoung’s willing to bet Jeonghan’s just letting him reach up on his tiptoes for the highest drawer just to catch a glimpse of the sliver of skin between the hem of Jisoo’s shirt and the waistband of his pants, but Soonyoung’s also enjoying the view as an aesthetic observer so he’s not complaining.

Jeonghan waggles his eyebrows at Jisoo, before winking at Soonyoung. “Not illegal if he can’t prove it.”

Soonyoung frowns. “I don’t wanna get a date because of Wonwoo’s looks. That’s just wrong.”

“It’ll be harmless if you never meet up. Just use it to practice flirting.”

“It feels weird,” Soonyoung insists.

“Weird because you’re not used to it? Or weird because it’s morally dubious?”

“It’s _Wonwoo_.”

Jisoo looks far too thoughtful for Soonyoung’s tastes at that, and the knowing look he exchanges with Jeonghan is anything but comforting. Soonyoung almost wishes the report was trapped behind the filing cabinet instead. “Does it bother you, thinking about him dating?”

“Of course it bothers me!” Soonyoung says. “Whoever he ends up dating is going to have to have the patience of a saint.”

“What about if it’s me dating someone? Or Seungkwan?” Soonyoung doesn’t say anything. “Seokmin? What about Jihoon?” Still nothing. Jeonghan’s smile turns sly. “So it only matters if it’s Wonwoo?”

“Well,” says Soonyoung, helplessly, “who’d look after the cats if he’s off dating around?”

“It’s a good thing you’re passionate about animal welfare, right?” Jisoo teases.

Soonyoung doesn’t deign to dignify _that_ with an answer.

*

Soonyoung doesn’t end up pushing through with the dating app. Wonwoo seems to be far too happy about that, never mind that Soonyoung’s narrowly saved him from one of Jeonghan’s crazy social experiments before it got out of hand. Think of the cats, Soonyoung reminds himself, watching Wonwoo look far too smug as he deletes the app on his phone. Think of the poor person that would end up dealing with _Wonwoo_.

Okay, so it’s not like Wonwoo’s _completely_ terrible. Once upon a time, younger Soonyoung would have admitted to having butterflies in his stomach when Wonwoo grew up and grew into his looks, but no one knows that except for god, Soonyoung, and the sheets he’d jerked off to with one of Wonwoo’s illegally downloaded hentai videos. It had just been static noise, clutter—he’d spilled into his hand with thoughts of Wonwoo’s lips, his cheek. The scrunch of his nose. His voice, low and teasing.

And that’s when Soonyoung realized there was something strange about their friendship. Maybe Wonwoo was right—they weren’t brothers at all.

Maybe Soonyoung didn’t want them to be friends, either. It’s the only thing he can think of when his fingers skirt underneath the waistband of his shorts and he jerks himself off while thinking of how unfairly hot Wonwoo already is. Some people have all the luck and none of the suffering.

*

> **> >** _jihoon SOS  
>  jihoon  
>  JIHOON_
> 
> **> >** _soonyoung_
> 
> _**> >**is it normal to be this horny when single or did it get better after you started dating_
> 
> **> >** _what???_
> 
> _**> >**I just had a sex dream_
> 
> **> >** _w h a t_
> 
> _**> >**I HAD A SEX DREAM ABOUT WONWOO  
>  RIGHT AFTER I FELL ASLEEP  
>  _ AFTER _I FAPPED WHILE THINKING OF HIM_
> 
> **> >** _um soonyoung._
> 
> _**> >**it’s not fair  
>  he was carrying an entire basket of kittens, jihoon, how could I NOT jump him  
>  he’s so frustratingly hot I’m seriously gonna go crazy_
> 
> **> >** _soonyoung_
> 
> _**> >**what!!!_
> 
> **> >** _jihoon’s in the shower. he asked me to reply to his messages._
> 
> _**> >**junhui???_
> 
> **> >** _this is wonwoo_
> 
> _**> >**what._
> 
> **> >** _i think we need to talk. soonyoung?_

*

Shit shit shit shit shit shitshitshit _shit_ \--

*

“You can’t hide in there forever, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung cowers under his blankets, careful not to make a sound. If he waits long enough, maybe Wonwoo will give up and go away. He’s got a stash of cup noodles and water, maybe he can just learn to eat the noodles raw if Wonwoo is determined to stand guard outside his dorm room. Or maybe he can just jump out the window and hope the bushes on the floor below are enough to cushion his fall.

“I know you can hear me,” Wonwoo calls out. “Please let me in already so we can talk about this!”

Nope. Nuh-uh. What is he, an idiot? He’s not going to let Wonwoo in, not even if Wonwoo starts picking the lock or breaking down the door with a chainsaw. There is absolutely no fucking way he’s going to willingly open this door and sacrifice the small sliver of dignity he has left to--

“If you don’t let me in, I’ll send the screenshot to our entire group chat, so help me god.”

He leaps out of the covers and wrenches the door open so hard, he nearly himself in the face.

“You took _screenshots_?”

Wonwoo gives him a crooked smile, before wedging his body into the gap between the frame and the door. “I lied. I deleted everything on Jihoon’s phone.”

“You are a _fucking_ \--”

“Come on,” says Wonwoo, taking him by the wrist and tugging him forward; his grip is firm, but not tight enough that Soonyoung can’t pull away if he doesn’t want to. “Let’s go feed the cats before we talk.”

Soonyoung follows him quietly, keeping his footsteps light and careful, assessing; maybe this is the part where Wonwoo will tell him how he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to hang out anymore, and that they should quit being friends now that he knows Soonyoung has far from pure and platonic thoughts about him. Maybe he’ll convince the other cats to stay away from Soonyoung now, too, and this will be the last time he’ll get to see them. Or maybe Wonwoo just won’t show up anymore. Maybe the thought of _Soonyoung_ is what will finally convince Wonwoo to stop feeding strays.

Or not. He’s always been a softie at heart, even if he’s super annoying at the same time. It’s why Soonyoung likes him so, so much, his heart feels like it’ll explode and his mind is going crazy, incapable of eloquent thought. Watching Wonwoo now, crouched low and scooping up a handful of dry food on his palm to coax one of the regulars, it’s hard to imagine him being anything but awkwardly kind.

Soonyoung waits until the last of the strays has gobbled up his fill and wandered back to the streets with a flick of his tail and a brush of his body against Wonwoo’s legs; he swallows the lump in his throat and tries to summon the courage before Wonwoo finishes packing up and sealing the rest of the cat food, else he’d lose every bit of it at the first sight of Wonwoo’s weighted gaze. Disappointment, perhaps. Pity. He doesn’t want any of it.

“We don’t have to talk about it, you know,” says Soonyoung, throat feeling parched. Dry. “You can just pretend I never said anything, and then I won’t show my face to you ever again.”

Wonwoo looks at him like he’s grown two heads, and Soonyoung, justifiably, looks at him in much the same way back. “Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Soonyoung asks, tone incredulous. “Wonwoo, I basically told Jihoon I wanted to suck your dick. _In a non-platonic way_.”

“I don’t think a blowjob constitutes as platonic,” says Wonwoo, sticking out his tongue to wet his lips. A traitorous part of Soonyoung fixates on the peek of tongue and refuses to get out of the gutter, even as 90% of him is already preparing to die of mortification.

“That’s not the point, you idiot,” Soonyoung argues. Then, with a smaller voice, he adds, “Don’t make fun of my feelings for you.”

Wonwoo’s face is inscrutable, even if it’s barely dark out. “I’d never make fun of you for that,” he says, then looks up at the sky. “For the longest time, I thought you were making fun of _me_.”

Soonyoung doesn’t know what to say to that. “Why would _I_ make fun of you?”

“You really have no idea, do you?” Wonwoo sighs, but he doesn’t sound too disappointed. “All this time we’ve been flirting, you get kinda skittish and brush me off or redirect the conversation to something else. I thought you _had_ to have known.”

“ _Flirting_?” Soonyoung repeats. “You thought we’ve been _flirting_?”

“Since ninth grade, remember?” Wonwoo’s lips press into a thin line, but he looks more exasperated than angry.

“ _Ninth grade_?”

“Yes, Soonyoung,” says Wonwoo, patiently. “Since the day we met.”

“I was being friendly!”

“I know you were, but you were so _touchy_ and wriggly and--” Wonwoo’s cheeks flush red, and Soonyoung just _stares_. “It was a very confusing time in my life.”

“Oh my god,” says Soonyoung. “Are you telling me _I_ was your sexual awakening? _Me_? I had _braces_ and a terrible haircut, Wonwoo!”

“It wasn’t terrible!” Soonyoung stares at him with volumes of even more judgment, but Wonwoo just responds with a relaxed grin and a soft expression that makes Soonyoung just want to giddily run around, or scream into the nearest hillside, or maybe launch himself at Wonwoo _now_. “You were very charming. It was cute.”

“This is why you need glasses all the time,” says Soonyoung, laughing weakly. “You’re blind.”

“I dunno, I think I’ve always seen and felt things very clearly when it comes to you,” says Wonwoo. He takes a step closer. “I know I haven’t thought of you as a friend for a very long time.” And another. And another. “And I know now that you probably think the same way I do, too.”

And then Wonwoo kisses him, and Soonyoung’s brain fizzles. It clicks. The universe is upended, and then realigned. Oh, he thinks, right before his hand reaches out to grasp the front of Wonwoo’s shirt, pulling him closer. _Oh_.

“Shit,” says Soonyoung, when they break apart an eternity and five seconds later, he’s honestly not sure anymore, “what are we gonna tell the cats?”

“You mean Jihoon, right?”

“No, I mean the cats,” Soonyoung clarifies.

Wonwoo laughs, and Soonyoung hears it, bright and clear, even as Wonwoo wraps his arms around him to hold him close. “God,” he says, whispering it into the top of Soonyoung’s head, “this is why I love you.”

Soonyoung’s fists tighten around Wonwoo’s clothes, and he shyly tucks his nose into the crook of Wonwoo’s neck. His eardrums feel like they’re pounding from the sound of his heartbeat, but his thoughts feel light, like a weight’s been lifted and he’s seeing things with greater clarity than he ever has. It’s terrifying and exciting all at once.

“I’m glad we didn’t do this whole confession thing in my room,” Soonyoung confesses. At Wonwoo’s questioning noise, he adds, “The bed would have made things a _lot_ harder to focus.”

Wonwoo groans, then squeezes him tighter. “ _Don’t_ ,” he warns. “I’ve got a class at eight in the morning.”

“I meant to _sleep_ ,” Soonyoung teases. He looks up at Wonwoo, then nuzzles his cheek against Wonwoo’s jaw. “I don’t put out on the first date, unlike Jihoon.”

“What if I take you to that fancy French place they went to, then?” Wonwoo asks. “Does that count?”

“I’ll think about it. Maybe if you kiss me again, I could be convinced.” Soonyoung purses his lips into a moue, one Wonwoo’s all too happy to kiss away.

*

> _**> >**psst jihoon_
> 
> **> >** _hm?_
> 
> _**> >**what’s the name of that restaurant junhui took you out to for your first date?_
> 
> **> >** _why? are you planning on going on a date with wonwoo now?_
> 
> _**> >**this is wonwoo. soonyoung’s already asleep  
>  and yes, it’s a date_
> 
> **> >** _??? lmao  
>  fucking finally  
>  jsyk I’m never going on a double date with you guys  
>  but congrats on finally getting your head out of your asses  
>  also jun says that minghao says to please make sure the dumbass is walking properly tomorrow, they have dance practice in the afternoon  
>  spare me the details pls_
> 
> _**> >**no promises ;)_
> 
> **> >** _eugh  
>  use protection_
> 
> _**> >**ok mom_
> 
> **> >** _blech ♥_
> 
> _  
> _

**Author's Note:**

> things that didn't make it into the final cut, as a bonus:
>
>> “Do you think I should just auction off my virginity online?”
>> 
>> Jihoon almost spews out his coffee, but Junhui’s quick to press a tissue to his face. Perks of having a much younger brother, Soonyoung supposes, but it’s more entertaining watching Jihoon splutter. “ _Excuse me_?”
>> 
>> “I think I’m sexually frustrated,” says Soonyoung. “And paid sex would probably be more realistic than getting someone to fall in love with me enough to date me at this point. There’s a lot of perverts out there, right?”
>> 
>> Wonwoo looks like he’s swallowed a lemon. “If it’s money you’re after, I could just pay you?”
>> 
>> “It’s not the money, idiot,” says Soonyoung. “The money’s just a bonus!”
>> 
>> “I know someone who’d date you for free,” Junhui pipes up, lips twitching, but suddenly he jerks away and winces when something accidentally knocks against his knee. It must be one of the cats using his leg as a scratching post, Soonyoung thinks.


End file.
